Have a Nice Day

Have a nice day!

Do we not hear this so often? Every time our eyes meet someone else's on the road, in our office, at the grocery store or just about anywhere... We instinctively go "How are you doing?" replied with an equally mechanical "Good! How are you?" while our feet continue on their path.

Just in case, we do stop to have a conversation with a familiar face, we end it with a 'Have a nice day!" and "You too!". Day in & day out, we exchange these pleasantries, majorly without our conscious brains involved. Today however, I got jolted by an answer, which on the face seemed pretty similar and routine, but it was different. When I walked away from someone at the water-cooler with a 'Have a nice day!", he replied with a "You do the same!". I almost stopped... not because it was an answer other than the regular, but because it had a different connotation. Or so I felt!

'Have a nice day' has a pretty passive undertone to it... like, I get to have what the day gives me. But the verb in "you do the same" is a lot more direct and action-oriented. It tells me that I can do something about it. I do not need to meekly accept whatever treatment the day metes out to me. This thought is very enabling and energizing.

But what can I do? Do I have the power to create my own day? Can I really make it nice even when it is not... which it usually is? There is so much happening in and around me, and hardly is there a thing which is in my control. How can I do something about my day when I am not able to choose what happens to me and my world? How can I have a nice day?

It is true. There is so much in the world around me that I cannot change to my liking. If there is snow, then there is snow, and I have to clean it off my car & my driveway. If it rains then it rains, and I have to walk through puddles of dirty water. If there's traffic and I am stuck, then I am stuck. If I have a mean boss or warmongering colleagues then that's the way it is. If business is slow, then it's slow. Life is constantly sending things our way, and so many of them aren't things that we like.

So, the question still persists... how do I make my day nice? The answer lies in a combination of physics and meta-physics. Sir Newton proclaimed in his 3rd law that 'every action has an equal & opposite reaction'. While it may not be true for all of physics, this postulate holds the key to my problem. It is the reaction that matters. What happens is beyond my control, but how I react to it, is always in my control. I can choose to react in the way I want. I can either give an 'equal & opposite' reaction or do it a bit differently. The best way to make our day nice, is to react gracefully. Grace, I would say, is the beauty of life. It is grace that makes a dance beautiful. It is grace that makes speech beautiful. It is grace that makes giving beautiful. Grace added to anything makes the latter beautiful. So why not my reaction, and why not my day?

Let life throw anything at me, I will catch it gracefully. Let life ask me questions, I will answer gracefully. Let life line up challenges my way, I will live upto them gracefully. Let life even send me joys, and I will enjoy them gracefully. It is the reaction that makes all the difference. I can choose to have a nice day irrespective of what lies around the corner, just by spicing up my reactions with a little bit of grace. The spicier, the tastier!

And where do I get this grace from? From my Father. Just pick some from the constant showering of His unending grace.You will never run out of it.

So the next time someone gives you a "Have a nice day", say "I am, and you do too!"

Cheers!

Search for a Beggar

An experience I wrote about in the early 2000s of my life...

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It was 10:00 AM already on a Monday morning & I was about to rush out of my house to office when my wife beckoned, "I have got something for you...". Feeling somewhat elated, I stood back. She came out of the kitchen holding a small plastic bag. Snacks for 5 o'clock, I thought! "Its yesterday night's Upma. Give it to any beggar on your way to office", she said casually dropping the bag into my hands and disappeared back into the kitchen. What ever happened to the loooong, loving good-byes we used to enjoy after our wedding? The newly-weds euphoria had evaporated without me realizing it.

Feeling quite unpleasant, I rushed out with that slimy bag in my hands. I kept it covered in my palms so as not to be visible to others. There was always a beggar woman sitting just 10 blocks away & I'll get rid of this sticky bag, I thought! But as I turned to that corner, she wasn't there. Usually, she always there, well-established, with her big plastic dirty rug & a boy who's always crying. But today, she just wasn't there. May be, she's gone to the bank to deposit her week-end collections. (she has a bank account, if you didn't know). So I went on, the bag still in my hands.

There are 2 temples on the way to the railway station. And temples always have beggars in and around them. From far ahead, the first temple looked quite desolate. And sure enough, the beggars weren't there. It was 10.15 in the morning and no beggars! I wondered why! May be they were late to work too. Feeling sympathetic for them (c'mon, it's a Monday morning), I trotted on to the next temple only to find the same scene. No beggars again! Is everyone out to annoy me? Is this some evil design to harass me? Now I was starting to get annoyed. Bombay city & no beggars! Walking on, I neared the railway station. The station would not disappoint me, I was sure. I started wading through the crowd of office workers, dabba-wallas, fruit-wallas, innumerable hawkers peddling electronics, dirty CDs & ball point pens, and little urchins polishing shoes. Everyone around had some work. But nobody was begging. Wow! The economy is looking up. No unemployment, no poverty around! Those fleeting moments of joy disappeared very soon as I realized that the slimy little bag was still clutching my sweaty palm.

As I waited on platform number 2 for my Andheri local, I noticed that I was standing right next to a waste-bin. How convenient! All I have to do is quietly drop the bag in that bin & I am free. But it wasn't that easy. How could I do that? I had FOOD with me. My out-stretched arm withdrew itself, caught between annoyance and ethics. I had to get rid of that bag but I couldn't just throw it away.

The bag accompanied me all the way to Mahim. Andheri had betrayed me but I had high hopes on Mahim. And sure enough, I was not disappointed. I saw not one but two beggar women on the Mahim railway bridge. My walk almost turned into a trot as I was just a few feet away from freedom. The woman also knew that I was going to give her something & was looking at me with hopeful eyes. But her hope turned into disgust when she saw a bag of food rather than hard cash. I could not believe it! She refused my offering - just shrugged me off. Overcome with shock, disbelief, frustation and fear, I didn't offer it to the other woman lest she might insult me too. My ego was badly hurt.

Losing all hopes of conscientiously getting rid of that food-filled bag, I dragged my feet towards my office. I was still angry. How on earth could that lowly woman refuse me? Down the road, around the corner, I saw another guy—torn clothes, overgrown beard, dirty rag. Yeah, he was a beggar alright. I proceeded cautiously towards him and subtlely showed him the bag from afar. He was still eager. And sure enough he took away my bag happily. Happy he was & so was I. But I wasn't certain, who was more happy at that time—him or I !

I was happy, very happy. At last, I found a beggar!

Was it a reason to feel happy about? That thought came up for a while but didn't survive for long. Life was back to normal. And I was back to battling usual day-to-day work.