cup or bucket ?

I was giving a bath to my 2 year old today morning, and he was playing with the water in the tub. He would put the plastic mug in the bucket of water, get some water in it, and then throw it around or on himself. Then he would refill the mug with some more water, and throw it around. It was fun to watch the exhilaration on his face every time the water was splashed around. His laughs were pretty loud & emphatic every time.

And then I decided to tease him. So I took the bucket away and poured a huge chunk of water into his mug. And then what happened was striking ! Due to the sudden weight of a lot of water, the plastic cup almost fell off from his hands. He barely managed to cling on to the now-heavy cup of water. After a futile struggle, the cup fell down, the water drained away and the incident was over. But my mind kept thinking about it. Isn't it true for all of us?

We, as human beings have a limit to every aspect of us, be it intellect, physical strength, mental strength, riches, skills, stamina, whatever we can think of. We all try to grow and achieve more than we have today. And the growth happens gradually (for those who really work for it). But inside of us, we keep wishing for growth to happen at the earliest possible. Body builders want muscles bulging out in weeks, weight-losers want instant weight-loss, people keep buying lotteries every day hoping to strike it big, school students want to finish school early and get to college — whatever be our goal, we want to get there quick.

But if we receive beyond what we can hold, then our plastic cups would fall down. If we do not have the ability to hold together what we receive, then we would not be able to retain it even though we get it rightfully. There are countless stories of lottery-winners who turned bankrupt pretty soon after receiving their winnings.

Revered Pandurang Shastri Athavale mentions many times in his discourses that one of the names of God is "One with a thousand hands". If such a God were appeased, and decided to give us gifts with a thousand hands, we would not be able to bear the gifts that we would receive. And similarly, if he decided to take back with a thousand hands, we would nothing left."

The point is that before asking for or wishing for anything, we need to check whether we are capable enough for what we are asking, and if not, then the gift will be a curse instead than a blessing ! We would rather have a little water in our cups and enjoy the bath, than get a bucketful and lose all of it ! And when we have just enough water to play, then it is always refilled by our Father so that our play goes on!

Tabla Lord

I have been watching a lot of Indian instrumental videos recently, and one thing that came to my observation was the role of the tabla. Usually, the tabla is considered as an accompaniment instrument. You have the sitar, sarod, santoor, violin, dilruba, jaltarang, and even the flute as the primary instruments whereas the tabla accompanies these instruments at almost any concert or recital. Tabla is also the default & necessary accompaniment at vocal recitals and classical dance styles like Katthak. Though tabla has been popularized beautifully by the likes of Ustad Alla Rakha Khan and his prodigal son Ustad Zakir Hussain, it still maintains a lower profile than almost every other instrument.

Though inconspicuous, the tabla is one of the most significant instruments at any recital. It is the tabla which sets the pace of any recital, and it is the tabla that maintains the rhythm of any song or rendition. Any song sounds beautiful only if it follows a certain rhythm. In general, beauty is a function of mathematics, especially aural art. So tabla, though not prominent or noticeable, is the silent but significant constituent of any beautiful composition. Without a well-defined rhythm as is set by the tabla, any composition would not sound beautiful.

And that is where a tabla is exactly like God. God is not prominently visible in our life. He always stays in the background, never seen, never heard of. Always remaining incognito, He makes us feel that "we" are doing everything. He is there, but doesn't make Himself conspicuous.

Yet, He is the one who sets the rhythm of our life. Like the tabla, God is the rhythm in our life—silent yet significant. He accompanies us in every endeavor yet remains hardly noticeable. In the absence of His rhythm, our life would not be beautiful. In fact, without the rhythmic heartbeat that He maintains so well, existence itself would be in question. He sets the pace & rhythm of our life and sustains it as well. The more rhythmical our life, the more beautiful it feels. In fact, yogic practices like pranayama make our breathing patterns so rhythmic, that their practitioners not only live longer but an internally beautiful, peaceful and fulfilling life. 

Rhythm is the key to a beautiful life since rhythm is a function of mathematics, and so is beauty. Our life would truly be a beautiful composition if the prominent functions of our life are well-aligned with the rhythm set by God. Education, intellect, profession, family, social, economic or political activities etc are the prominent instruments in our life. Even with the best of abilities to play these instruments of life, if we do not follow the universal rhythm, our rendition will not sound charming. We need to listen to, recognize and follow the Cosmic rhythm, for our lives to be beautiful.

Another important lesson that the tabla gives (and so does God), is that even though the tabla has its own individuality, and an independent significance, it's always working hard to enhance the beauty of other instruments. By virtue of this fact, its own beauty is multiplied manifold.

Thanks a lot, dear tabla, for giving me this wonderful inspiration— inspiration to be grateful for this divine rhythm, and inspiration to be an instrument in enhancing the beauty of others !

Stressed Out

I had the following experience on a late night in Bombay:

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I woke up disturbed & switched on the light.
With a smile on its face,
          the clock came into sight.
It was 10 to 2, in the middle of the night;
And street dogs were howling,
          at the top of their might

piercing it serene calm & tranquil quiet.
Yet, by the rigors of the day, weighed down;
amidst the canine cacophony,
          people blissfully slept all around.

Search for a Beggar

An experience I wrote about in the early 2000s of my life...

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It was 10:00 AM already on a Monday morning & I was about to rush out of my house to office when my wife beckoned, "I have got something for you...". Feeling somewhat elated, I stood back. She came out of the kitchen holding a small plastic bag. Snacks for 5 o'clock, I thought! "Its yesterday night's Upma. Give it to any beggar on your way to office", she said casually dropping the bag into my hands and disappeared back into the kitchen. What ever happened to the loooong, loving good-byes we used to enjoy after our wedding? The newly-weds euphoria had evaporated without me realizing it.

Feeling quite unpleasant, I rushed out with that slimy bag in my hands. I kept it covered in my palms so as not to be visible to others. There was always a beggar woman sitting just 10 blocks away & I'll get rid of this sticky bag, I thought! But as I turned to that corner, she wasn't there. Usually, she always there, well-established, with her big plastic dirty rug & a boy who's always crying. But today, she just wasn't there. May be, she's gone to the bank to deposit her week-end collections. (she has a bank account, if you didn't know). So I went on, the bag still in my hands.

There are 2 temples on the way to the railway station. And temples always have beggars in and around them. From far ahead, the first temple looked quite desolate. And sure enough, the beggars weren't there. It was 10.15 in the morning and no beggars! I wondered why! May be they were late to work too. Feeling sympathetic for them (c'mon, it's a Monday morning), I trotted on to the next temple only to find the same scene. No beggars again! Is everyone out to annoy me? Is this some evil design to harass me? Now I was starting to get annoyed. Bombay city & no beggars! Walking on, I neared the railway station. The station would not disappoint me, I was sure. I started wading through the crowd of office workers, dabba-wallas, fruit-wallas, innumerable hawkers peddling electronics, dirty CDs & ball point pens, and little urchins polishing shoes. Everyone around had some work. But nobody was begging. Wow! The economy is looking up. No unemployment, no poverty around! Those fleeting moments of joy disappeared very soon as I realized that the slimy little bag was still clutching my sweaty palm.

As I waited on platform number 2 for my Andheri local, I noticed that I was standing right next to a waste-bin. How convenient! All I have to do is quietly drop the bag in that bin & I am free. But it wasn't that easy. How could I do that? I had FOOD with me. My out-stretched arm withdrew itself, caught between annoyance and ethics. I had to get rid of that bag but I couldn't just throw it away.

The bag accompanied me all the way to Mahim. Andheri had betrayed me but I had high hopes on Mahim. And sure enough, I was not disappointed. I saw not one but two beggar women on the Mahim railway bridge. My walk almost turned into a trot as I was just a few feet away from freedom. The woman also knew that I was going to give her something & was looking at me with hopeful eyes. But her hope turned into disgust when she saw a bag of food rather than hard cash. I could not believe it! She refused my offering - just shrugged me off. Overcome with shock, disbelief, frustation and fear, I didn't offer it to the other woman lest she might insult me too. My ego was badly hurt.

Losing all hopes of conscientiously getting rid of that food-filled bag, I dragged my feet towards my office. I was still angry. How on earth could that lowly woman refuse me? Down the road, around the corner, I saw another guy—torn clothes, overgrown beard, dirty rag. Yeah, he was a beggar alright. I proceeded cautiously towards him and subtlely showed him the bag from afar. He was still eager. And sure enough he took away my bag happily. Happy he was & so was I. But I wasn't certain, who was more happy at that time—him or I !

I was happy, very happy. At last, I found a beggar!

Was it a reason to feel happy about? That thought came up for a while but didn't survive for long. Life was back to normal. And I was back to battling usual day-to-day work.

little arpan... big anubhuti...

Sharing a very intimate experience with all of you...

One morning, I was sitting near my 6 month son who had recently learnt to get up on his knees. He would get up on all his fours, and keep rocking himself all day. While rocking on his fours, he accidentally sat up. That was the 1st time he actually SAT, and I was so very happy to be present at that time.

Immediately, I went down on the floor & sat next to him lest he might fall down. He was swaying dangerously from side to side & I was ready to catch him. He was just about managing to hold himself up in between the sudden imbalances. But I didn't hold him. It was only when he was actually falling, did I catch him & prevent the crash. Sometimes, I even allowed him to fall when the crash wasn't too big.

This incident left a deep impact on my mind. I think this incident happens not in only childhood but keeps repeating all through our lives. Only the context of falling keeps changing. Many a times, we do not know that we are falling. We try our level best to keep ourselves up, reach higher, move forward and in that process, lose balance. Most of the time, we manage to keep our balance but not always. At all times, God is always watching, sitting right next to us, though we do not know. He does not hold us all the time, but watches quietly & feels happy about our efforts. He even lets us fall sometimes when the fall is not too big; and only when we lean too dangerously, does He grab us & put us back on track.

But we, in our ignorance, start cursing Him in the process of our imbalance. We start questioning His existence and/or His love, at the slightest of misfortunes.
He is watching, and will surely hold us but only when we sway too dangerously.

• He is always there, exactly as I was with my little son.
• He desires your growth with your own efforts, exactly as I want for my son.
• He is ready to do anything for you, exactly as I am for my son.
• He is madly in love with you, exactly as I am with my son.

This was my big anubhuti from little Arpan that morning.